From today on, please be prepared to "die alone"

Soul mate

what kind of people do you think are more likely to meet soul mates?

I thought about this question for a long time, and finally found the answer, that is, people who are born alone, that is, people with single beliefs.

in short, a person who is prepared to be single all his life and can live well without relying on others.

Why do you say that?

Love is a rare product, it has conditions and threshold, and the threshold is not low.

Let's look at the praises of love since ancient times:

Sanmao and Hexi, Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu, Li Yinhe and Wang Xiaobo.

they all have one thing in common, that is, the integrity and independence of personality and a high degree of spiritual resonance.

they love each other deeply, not because of each other's identity, status, family, but only this person, love this unique soul.

their love moves us so much because there are no conditions, trade-offs and calculations attached to their love, and they fully accept, respect and appreciate each other.

and to be able to reach this level, there are prerequisites and conditions, that is, first of all, you should be a person with complete personality, independence and mature mind.

Love is also a complex comprehensive problem. Only when you solve your own problem first, will it be possible to solve a more difficult and higher-level problem.

when you don't solve a person's problem, love is not the icing on the cake, but even worse.

many problems in love are personal problems in the final analysis.

for example, you want to cling to each other all the time because you lack the ability to be alone.

always wants to change the other person because you neither understand your own needs nor accept the other person as they are.

I haven't dealt with my own problems well. It's like asking a pupil to solve a linear algebra problem. What do you think is the probability of solving the correct answer?

finally, keeping a single belief is actually a very safe life strategy to advance, attack and retreat.

manage yourself well on this basic disk first.

if you meet the right person, you can fall in love and get married.

but if you don't meet that person, it still doesn't prevent you from living a good life, enjoying life and experiencing life to the full.

is that we should not regard love and marriage as an indispensable option, but an option that is better, but does not matter.

only in this way can we maintain a free and light state in the relationship, have the courage to forget and devote ourselves, and have the courage to leave at any time.

three conditions for single belief

so if girls want to be happy and meet their soul mate, please first have the belief of being single.

in my opinion, there are three conditions for a single belief:

Economic independence

you can support yourself through a skill, and find confidence and confidence based on society in your work and career.

in this way you have the economic capital of being single and the choice and freedom not to be attached to others.

the more financial capital you have for being single, the purer your demand for love will be.

when we are unable to be financially independent, we will give too much expectation to love-the material security, the leapfrogging of the class, the bearing of the ideal life.

Love in too many expectations, calculations and trade-offs, will be overburdened, become complex and muddy, difficult to distinguish.

spiritual freedom

you can enjoy your alone time and constantly enrich your spiritual kingdom.

develop hobbies that enrich yourself-reading, writing, painting, traveling, etc.

you bloom at your own pace, ignoring the eyes of others.

in this way, we will not entangle and consume each other like Siamese twins, but have more space and freedom to explore and experience.

this kind of love will be full of freshness and breathing.

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Internal abundance

your inner body is not deficient, you must first become a beam of light.

you constantly know yourself, accept yourself, and heal yourself.

over time, your inner body is no longer a dry desert, but a spring constantly emerging from sweet springs.

you know how to take care of yourself and love yourself, and you also know how to care for others and give voluntarily.

in this relationship, you can nourish each other instead of being like a vine nourished by the withering of others.

Adler believes that to be truly free, one must have the courage to be hated.

the first 20 or 30 years of life is not spent looking for the missing half, but to repair and optimize yourself to become a more independent, mature and complete soul.

because true love is the mutual attraction and dance of two complete souls, not the combination of two crippled souls.

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