An ambiguous relationship between men and women often starts with borrowing these four things from each other.

simple psychology

xinli0

1

in a relationship, there is a state in which there is more than friendship and the lover is not satisfied, which is unclear and unclear.

it's called ambiguous.

ambiguity can be a catalyst for feelings, or an ambush for traps. It can make feelings blossom and bear fruit, and it can also make relationships deteriorate or even go off the rails.

an ambiguous relationship between a man and a woman often begins by doing something that crosses the boundaries of friendship.

whether there is a borderline friendship between members of the opposite sex, or love has long been permeated, can be seen from whether they have borrowed these four things from each other in their daily life.

borrow personal effects

there are some items that you borrow and I will return. Between coming and going, emotions enter each other's hearts with the help of these carriers, making people think about it.

clothes, cups, lunch boxes, headphones, mobile phones, computers, money, selfies, and so on, are all personal belongings that are easy for members of the opposite sex to interact with each other. Once they start borrowing and sharing, it shows that their relationship is ambiguous.

Wang Ming and Bing Bing like each other, but they are embarrassed to confess their love.

when it rained suddenly after work one day, Wang Ming saw Bingbing standing at the door waiting for the rain to stop, the wind blowing her thin dress.

so Wang Ming carried an umbrella to send Bing Bing home. The two chatted happily all the way, and soon fell in love.

clothes are private and intimate things, representing a person's image and having his own unique taste.

people usually only want to lend their clothes to close people to wear. when he lends this dress to the opposite sex, it shows that he is careful and considerate to each other, which is a kind of warm protection.

and wearing this dress, she felt his temperature, as if he was by his side.

when the two people touch each other indirectly, the air is also filled with love.

there is a saying: "what a man can't stand is the way a woman wears his shirt."

A man lends clothes to a woman on his own initiative, which shows that she carries a lot of weight in his heart. On the other hand, a woman always borrows clothes from a man, indicating that she wants to get closer and express her sense of intimacy.

but ambiguity is a double-edged sword, depending on what kind of relationship it is fermented.

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when Lingling got home last night, her boyfriend saw her wearing a khaki men's coat and asked angrily:

"Why are you wearing the clothes of a male colleague? is he interested in you?"

Lingling thought her boyfriend made a mountain out of a molehill and immediately went back:

"he is well-intentioned and afraid that I will be cold. Don't think of others so badly. He and I are just ordinary colleagues."

when she calmed down, she recalled that the colleague's attitude towards her was really special, and he probably didn't know she was seeing someone.

so when Lingling returned his clothes the next day, she said:

"Thank you for your help yesterday. My boyfriend said you were very gentlemanly."

sometimes, even if you have no interest in him, he may not want to just be friends with you, so be sure to keep a moderate relationship before your date has sense of security.

at the friend party, Lan Lan didn't have a cup. She naturally picked up the cup next to Haoxiang and drank it. Haoxiang didn't reject it. As a result, they both shared the same cup all the time.

if you don't like this person, you certainly don't want him to move your cup.

share cups, lunch boxes, bowls and chopsticks, or even "indirect kissing" with the same straw, usually only in very close relationships such as family or loved ones.

it is also worth exploring that two people share headphones to listen to music and have photos of each other on their mobile phones.

time spent in private contact

what is the most important thing to maintain a relationship?

I think it's "time". It can even determine the ultimate direction of a relationship.

as long as you pay the cost of time, the other person will become different in your own heart. The more time you put in, the less willing you are to get out of the relationship.

once men and women want to borrow each other's time, and borrow more and more, it shows that there is an affair.

Thirty, Lin has an appointment to go to the amusement park. Xu Fengshan refused at first, but Lin said it was her intention, and Xu Fengshan could not bear to refuse any more.

it was from then on that they had an affair.

Modern people are under a lot of pressure, and everyone's time is precious.

the time spent with each other can be used to judge the intimacy of a relationship.

if one party wants to borrow the other's precious time and the other is willing to invest it, it shows that the relationship between the two people is special.

Lin Qingxuan wrote in "the Flavor of the World is Qinghuan":

"Romantic means wasting time eating slowly, wasting time drinking tea slowly, wasting time walking slowly, wasting time getting old slowly."

the so-called romance is that I want to waste that long time with you, and the relationship gradually heats up with eating, chatting, shopping and watching movies.

one night, Wang Hao received a Wechat message from his friend Xinyi:

"Brother Wang, I'm not feeling well, but I don't have any medicine at home. Could you send me some?"

Wang HaoHurriedly rushed to Xinyi's house and saw Xinyi grimacing when he opened the door.

however, Wang Hao was not angry with her for lying.

the two were drinking drinks on the rooftop, chatting and laughing all night, and were reluctant to part when they parted.

where a man's time is spent, his heart is.

ambiguity is to break some routines and invade each other's lives.

A lot of ambiguity arises from the solitude of two people and the possession of each other's private time.

if you already have a relationship, don't borrow time from another member of the opposite sex, and don't use a third person as an excuse to create opportunities for two people to be alone.

otherwise, when you spend more time infiltrating each other, the relationship will gradually become confused and the relationship will become messy.

borrow deep thoughts

when you have a lot of topics in common with a person, talk more and more deeply, say something from the bottom of your heart that you haven't said to others, and find the agreement between each other's values and the tacit understanding of your heart, it's easy to develop platonic feelings between them.

according to the "Social infiltration Theory" put forward by psychologists Atman and Taylor:

the formation of intimate relationship is a process of "infiltrating" through a person's surface and deepening their understanding of the person's inner self.

the higher the degree of self-exposure, the higher the level of intimacy between relationships.

especially when talking about personal topics, such as your own likes and dislikes, a more private view of a thing, a story from small to big, and the way your family gets along with each other, this kind of self-disclosure can bring closer relationships between members of the opposite sex, and the relationship is becoming more and more ambiguous.

in a fast-paced society, human feelings become indifferent, and colleagues cooperate and compete.

if two people talk about personal topics at work, they are more and more eager to expose themselves:

he tells you about his experiences as a student, and you share your favorite songs with him;

you have heard about his family, and he knows your true attitude towards someone;

he tells you about past feelings, and you tell you some of your expectations;

you know his pride and pain points, and he understands your bravado and fragility.

maybe you will collide because the exchange of ideas is too deep, but it still does not affect each other's appreciation and recognition, and you still choose to be in the same boat in the face of difficulties.

come and go, the feelings of the two people have undergone subtle changes, and even can read each other's hearts without more words, and have deeper feelings than ordinary friends.

We all know that exposing emotions, expressing oneself, and seeking support is a risky thing, which is bound to be rejected and not necessarily recognized and affirmed by others.

behind the thought of loan, it is not only the acceptance and affirmation of each other's world outlook, outlook on life and values, but also a deep tacit understanding and trust.

some love begins with appreciation and admiration. Because the other party is excellent, so the heart has a feeling of admiration.

such high-level feelings remind me of Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng, Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang, who are like-minded and achieve each other.

but for married people and other members of the opposite sex to borrow ideas and have blue or female confidants, this is undoubtedly a "dangerous intimate relationship" that can easily lead to mental infidelity.

borrow each other's warmth

there are more and more service behaviors between men and women, for example, men fix computers for women, drive her and pick her up, while women wash clothes for men, cook for him, and so on, all of which are considerate to each other. If both are used to this mode of relationship, it means they are in an affair period.

once we borrow warmth from each other, it means that we have recognized each other's existence in the bottom of our hearts, which is enough to prove the position of each other in our hearts.

but ordinary friends of the opposite sex, do not easily become each other's "psychiatrist".

if you don't reject that inappropriate concern in the first place, your emotional bottom line will have been shaken.

Jing Wen's boyfriend is often away on business, and she is a Pisces girl who is afraid of loneliness.

recently, a friend of the opposite sex cared about her when she was in a bad mood, making her feel warmer than ever before and no longer have insomnia at night.

one day Jingwen went to the man's appointment. In the cinema, she gently leaned her head on the man's shoulder.

the man certainly did not refuse, listening to her whisper: "it's happy to have a shoulder to lean on."

A girl like Jingwen will soon occupy her heart if someone happens to bring her warmth and thoughtfulness to fill her inner solitude and meet her emotional needs when she is fragile.

maybe she doesn't know whether she really fell in love with this person, or whether this person just filled her emotional gap, and she was just looking for a kind of emotional recognition.

Don't always complain about your feelings like friends of the opposite sex, try to digest it yourself or talk to friends of the same sex.

because when you complain, your heart is full of dissatisfaction with your partner, at this time, if there is an understanding opposite sex to comfort you and warm your cold heart, when the good of Ta contrasts with the bad of your partner, it is easy to imagine that Ta is particularly good. How can the other person understand you so well?

once the other person has a crush on you, it's easy to feel that your complaint is courting Ta.

even if you don't want to leave your partner, you need to reflect calmly and think about your partner's feelings and responsibilities.

is it invisible to encourage others to invade your life and indirectly encourage that person to have something to do withYou are ambiguous, or you enjoy being loved more.

▽

when men and women get along, once two people like to borrow these four things from each other, it means that they have an "ambiguous" relationship.

if you are both single, you can try to develop a relationship and make this romance exclusive to each other.

however, ambiguity is sometimes excruciating, which makes you wander back and forth between certainty and uncertainty, definitely overthrow it again and again, and fall into a deep emotional whirlpool.

the relationship between the opposite sex itself is very delicate, in a long time together, a little carelessness may sprout a deteriorating emotion.

married people keep the bottom line and maintain a sense of proportion with other members of the opposite sex, which is not only the embodiment of personality, but also the minimum respect for marriage, so that the relationship between husband and wife can last long.